Ranking All Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return Songs
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return is one of my favorite shows of all time, and possibly the best Netflix show. One thing it did is it had a fair amount more music, and the soundtrack was just recently released. So, what were my favorite songs? Also, I’m only including songs with lyrics, and I’m not including the theme song, because that would be number one no question. So, let’s give the new songs a fair shot!
8. Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch
So, the reason this is last is because it isn’t really a song. It’s a really funny bit, and it does have jingles, but I don’t really feel that constitutes it a place on the soundtrack. Although, the jingles do get better and better throughout the bit.
7. Aloha (With Florence Gypsy, The Last of the Ice-Cold Mamas)
This is the first real song on the list I have a problem with. It really relies to heavily on the movie of that episode, Avalanche! I also prefer the original Gypsy voice, especially for how much better this song would have been.
6. Our Love is on Wings (You Can’t See)
Don’t get me wrong, this song isn’t high because it’s bad, but because it’s not my forte. Both of the singers, Felicia Day and Neil Patrick Harris, do a great job. However, it’s a love song, and not of the classic rock variety, so it isn’t the most enjoyable to me. However, Patton Oswalt’s solo is a very comedic addition.
5. The Magic in You
Now, this may be a song about coming of age, but it subverts all common speech and uses the undead instead. It’s implying having a kid, but takes about magically raising the dead. It just goes to show more creative ways to teach your kid about that kind of stuff.
4. The Great Space Circus
Mark Hamill. Even when he’s not the clown prince or the last Jedi, he’s still dealing with clowns and in space. Either way, Jonah and the Bots are pointing out the problems with his show, and the instrumentation reflects what’s happening. The instruments are also very similar to those you would find at an actual circus, and not of the normal variety.
3. UFO
Nothing can go wrong when you mix The Beach Boys and sci-fi. At least, that’s what I get from this song. The upbeat song with terrible messages that the crew immediately denounce are funny, and references to Slave I and other ships are always a plus.
2. Every Country Has a Monster
A great rap song about equality for all (monsters) and solid rap beat. Not only that, this gives a great history lesson on all the monsters around the world. This was also the first song in the show, which set a very high bar for the rest of the series.
1. Push Past the Hurting (When a Movie Hurts Too Much)
The best song of this season. It perfectly entwines the movie so that it helps the song, but the movie doesn’t hinder the full song. This is the only song that has not only Jonah and the Bots, but Kinga and Max as well. The song starts with a somber piano, which eventually grows more joyful as the chorus about pushing past the hurting starts to play.
